All this time / From the first tear cried / ‘Til today’s sunrise / And every single moment between / You were there / You were always there / It was you and I /
You’ve been walking with me all  this time
… “All This Time,” Britt Nicole …

Today I am bouncing with excitement and productivity. A direct contrast to yesterday.

Yesterday was hard. Difficult. Trying. Exhausting. Like pulling teeth with rusted pliers. Writing a book is far from easy. Still, I was and am determined to use these next few days off from school to get some serious work done on Mr. Palmer’s book.

By three or four yesterday afternoon, however, I called it a day and lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. I was beyond frustrated. I had tried to maintain the positive attitude despite the steady trial of trying to write something and failing. All day I sat at my desk in a blind stupor while in my mind, a battle raged. I threw punches all day long at my inner muse in a mad attempt to wake it up, but to no avail.

Yesterday was the battle most writers face at random intervals throughout a writing project. It’s the phase when we want to throw Ming vases at the wall and tear monetary notes into confetti all for the sake of releasing Art from its prison in our minds.  We long for brilliant prose and poetry to flow to our fingertips, but alas! Creativity remains locked in our heads battering at the ramparts. We, the writers, cannot think beyond the next question mark, a punctuation symbol that marks the unspoken question of our existence. Can we do this?

With God, the answer is always a resounding YES!

Last night I prayed that God would renew my sense of purpose. I know I am meant to write this book, but doubt and fear plague me relentlessly. I needed Godly intervention.

When I awoke this morning, a smile was on my face and butterflies in my chest. I was excited to start writing. For the first time in what seems like years, I was over the moon excited to spend the day writing. I could not wait to get started.

A few hours later, the child-like excitement has faded, but the steady purpose and joy at knowing I am doing what I have been called to do remains strong within me. I do not hesitate to sit at my desk in fear of failing. I now sit at my desk knowing I have a job to do. I am ready for this. The trials of yesterday taught me that I can face those fears and doubts head-on and still wake up the next morning a better, stronger writer because of it. God has given me a talent, and I need to build upon it. I do not want to stand before Him one day only to report that I kept the talent safe and secure, tucked away from a world that might have damaged it. Rather, when I stand before God, I want to wear a smile and report that His talent multiplied into a blessed ministry that served Him on earth. I am nothing but a vessel that carries a God-given talent.

Knowing this talent does not come from my own abilities releases me from all fear, as it should release each individual. Every person has a talent, an ability that God gave him or her to use for His purpose. The problem is that many of us allow fear to stop us in our tracks. We limit the influence of the talent because of doubts and fears that Satan weaves around us like a web. God cannot be limited. Once we realize this, Satan’s web unravels, because if God cannot be limited, then neither can the talent He gave us before we were conceived in our mother’s womb.

We must learn to embrace our God-given talents and run with them. We cannot let Satan shackle our feet. If our God is for us, who can stand against us? After years of writing, I am only just discovering the true beauty and freedom of this truth.

What is fear and doubt in the face of the Almighty?

Nothing but smoke blown away on the wind.